I get cranky if I don’t do it at least once a week. And most of my friends ask me, “Are you frustrated because you did not have sex?”, and I tell them openly, “yes I am”.
Alex Mathew, 27 years, Content writer, Bangalore
Interviewed by Poorva Dinesh and Joseph Colin
Why did you decide to speak on sex?
So basically sex is a taboo in the Indian society, and people generally don’t have the balls to talk about it. I chose to talk about it, because people need to sensitize about it, and know what sex is really about.
How old were you when you first had sex?
So I am a late bloomer. I started having sex when I was 22 – 23. Probably it was good for me because I had my head over my shoulders, so I knew what is right, and what is wrong. Sex is something I like to enjoy. You know you have Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, where shelter, food, clothing is required…I think sex should definitely be included in one of the hierarchies of needs. Personally, I get cranky if I don’t do it at least once a week. And most of my friends ask me, “Are you frustrated because you did not have sex?”, and I tell them openly, “yes I am”.
Do you talk about your sex life to your family or friends?
If I talk about it to my family, they will think I am a slut or something. I can’t talk to them about it, because they are not ready to talk about it. Yeah but with friends, I talk about it openly. I love getting love bites. If I have love bites I am ready to show it off. So people look at me and say, “Ok you had sex. You look fresh” and all that… I am proud of the fact that I had sex. I am not ashamed of it. It’s kind of required for everybody to do it.
There was a time in the Indian society before the Britishers came when we used to openly have sex. There was nothing wrong with it, and then after that they just slammed so many laws, saying it is not right. That’s when we all got conditioned to say OK we can only do it after marriage.
What if there is a total hit-on chemistry with two people? I mean, I am just talking about a couple. It’s amazing and you just want to go and see if it works out in bed. And if it works in bed then BOOM!
Do you have multiple partners?
I am not in a serious relationship right now. If I go with a date with someone and find the person interesting, I would definitely like to have sex with that person. Yes, I do have multiple partners. But I am pretty choosy. When it comes to men, I like men who are either South-Indian, or they have to fit the bracket of being manly and all that stuff. So I wouldn’t do it with anybody and everybody. Once in a while it is fine. For me right now, I am going through this phase where I am doing only friends with benefits. I have been doing this for a year and five months, and this “friends with benefits” is working out fine so might as well do it.
Where do you usually meet these friends?
So basically, we have a lot of dating apps. So, we chat first, and if there is good chemistry while we chat, then we meet up at a coffee shop or a pub, and then we talk and see if the whole physical thing is happening. If it isn’t happening, then it is like “bye, see you…it was nice meeting you, it’s never going to go beyond that.”(All laugh) But if it is…you know…you can’t help it but go ahead and have fun. We call it fun…if we have fun, we go ahead…
What does love mean to you?
For me love is pure. It’s to be given to everyone. It can’t be like I will just give it to one person. I think everybody requires it in their life. I don’t get it when people say, “I will wait for the right person, and then give it.” What if the right person turns out to be a total dickhead and you can’t give the right kind of love? So I would say, whoever comes to your life give them as much love as you can, and if the right person comes give the love to them as well. It should not be restricted to one person. It should be for anybody and everybody.
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